Regardless of who says these words "Come and See, or Follow Me", our initial tendency learns towards curiosity, so we do follow. But how many of us are capable of staying for longer than the introduction. (P.S. Please don’t read more into this than what is says). I was reading and saw the words to Andrew and Simon Peter, and questioned how often I have been filled with this eagerness and want, but with the likelihood that in time it will form into obligation rather than love and to bring glory to someone/thing beyond myself?
Today, I felt myself, my full self, seeping through my barricaded lips. Is this transition or assimilation? And can we ever become someone different, than who we are? We can try to be the best possible self; however, old tendencies arise when our guard is down. Life experiences intrude upon our idealistic future and bring reality full circle. Change is plausible, but difficult. The road placed before us is filled with deep holes of complacency, apathy, and cynicism. We can refuse to fall into many, but we should not condemn ourselves when we twist an ankle on occasion, or frequently during specific periods in our life.
Here, feels like anywhere else. Yes, of course, the building are made of different stone and filled with people that often have different values, beliefs, and customs than I. The transportation is different, more together, less separation. It can be exhausting, exhilarating depending on my own mood.
A month: four days from completion. Arabic, Arabic, Arabic, sleep, write, read, walk, tram-it, metro-it, taxi-it, back and forth, here to there, new faces with the occasional familiar one, cooking, cleaning, hanging clothes, fainting spell (s), hospitality, coming together as a family, small adventures, respect, love (and _______________). Yet, I find myself easily in a trance to get from here to there and back, easily ignoring the wishes of St. Francis: attentiveness and hope for something beyond what I see.
Tomorrow evening, a contemplative service much needed will be attended by myself and hopefully a few other MCCers. This weekend is filled with required travel and driving experience. Even though, I wish I could escape to dahab (the beach) with my fellow Eastern graduate and family. It will be a good trip. Oh, and I’ve been warned I have upcoming lessons on how to drive a standard. Let’s hope I don’t damage the car!
Oh and I’m loving the letters, thank you. I’ve decided for Christmas, I would like you all to send me pictures! I miss seeing you all face to face.
Newest download: Derek Webb’s Album, Stockholm Syndrome: Amazingly beautiful.
Peace be with you!
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