The Wordy Semi-Coherent Update

Toby, the ferocious cat is asleep on the couch. He is very adorable, but only when he sleeps because once the monster awakes; Kleenex and band-aids are in order for anyone attempting to pet his orange fur.

I’m sitting here attempting to become productive, meaning to finish the grant that is due Friday. Though, the roar and shaking of overhead planes and the open windows that overtake my “scenic view” of the apartment building next door prove to be quite the distraction.

Aimee Mann and Eva Cassidy are playing the background, a recent steal from my feminist roommate’s Ipod.

Before I get too distracted by the random noises, I always flip through the news. My routine begins with the New York Times, moving to BBC News, glancing through MSNBC, and settling on Al Jazzera. On less productive days, I find myself reading articles from the Economist and Foreign Policy Magazine, and glimpsing through certain celebrity filled garbage websites. However, my attempt this year is to no longer fill my brain with unnecessary details of who is married to whom, but to learn Jimmy Carter’s favorite color.

This weekend, I glimpsed at the front of a menu in Cairo, what I found brought a smile and a giggle. Jimmy Carter’s signature…yes, I know. What can I say, out of a lot of the presidents before, since, and now, I like him the best. If you having difficulty agreeing, you should reach his speech about how ALL religions can oppress and liberate women. (http://www.cartercenter.org/news/editorials_speeches/parliament-world-religions-120309.html ) He is still a man, but he has words that I wish would filter down to many of the leaders and followers of various religious leaders who still believe women are inferior beings to men.

The more I read in the Book, the more I realize that women played a massive role in so many stories. Given their actions are usually over-ridden by what the man did, but without the woman’s (and G-d’s) assistance, his actions would have been futile. It’s one of the few encouraging insights I’m gaining from reading the O.T., because some of those chapters induces fear and trembling and doubt. As always, the person I relate to the most in the Book is good old Thomas. Nickel Creek, NOT Nickelback, even pinned a song for this unlikely G-man.

The smell of fried tamaya is filtering into my flat, and thankfully Toby is remaining asleep.

Reading through this Book that has brought about war and hope, also brings both within my mind. My anger with G-d has subsided, but 3 months without my grandma is proving harsh. Life continues; hastily the new year has come and here I sit in a country that sometimes I despise because of irrational thoughts that my journey here lead to my grandma’s journey home.

A horn blares from outside and the gears echo from a truck barreling down our street.

I’ve spent these pass 18 days of January searching, praying, crying, and standing still trying to hear, understand, comprehend where I should be? Here, possibly? Home, where is that exactly? School, which one and how many loans will put me into a lifetime of debt? What type of school, RN, BSN/MSN? Development, relief, health? Always searching, but learning, to at least, partially remain present and see where these next months take me. Possibly the answer is searching never ends until we are all home.

Someone is hammering the floor in the upstairs apartment.

I miss the complexity of being in a community of friends and family. One is slowly building here, but there are not any Amandas, Sarahs, Jessicas, Janas, Mikkis, Randis, Jordans, Lisas, Charlenes, nor blood family members. Maybe my expectations are too high? One thing recently taught to me was the exercise of “lowering your expectations.” I’m not sure how I exactly feel about this, but it does make the days of reporting and writing less daunting.

Music switch: Let it Be, Across the Universe Soundtrack…speaking words of wisdom, let it be

For now, I’m thankful to be safe, healthy, whole, fed, sheltered, watered, and loved. I don’t believe I should ever wish to have anything more.

If you haven’t donated, prayed, and have been in a hole for the past week, don’t forget about Haiti. The needs will not disappear once the images are no longer displayed across the screen. This will be a long process for a country and a people that has been too conveniently forgotten by humanity.

If you would like to help through monetary ways, two great organizations are Partners in Health and the one I’m currently with, The Mennonite Central Committee. Partners in Health has been in Haiti for multiple years, is reputable, and the money will reach those affected and not end up in the pockets of CEOs. Same goes for MCC, who focuses on more psycho-social development, including trauma healing. This nation will need tremendous help in the coming years. The recovery will be long, but can be lifted up to someone already on the ground in this nation. If you think, G-d is not in the nation, you are by far mistaken. He is there and has been. We, His hands and feet, are the ones who ignored our brothers and sisters. Your actions do not have to be large to make a valuable impact.

Toby is waking up. I must cover all exposed skin and have a healthy supply of band-aids within reach.

Time to start my grant writing, one to finish, only 5 more to start on…oh the joys of development work.

Dorothy Day in all her glory. My personal "icon" for perseverance.